


Shippers

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-20
Updated: 2011-10-20
Packaged: 2017-10-24 19:22:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/266978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Shippers Hotch, we like to pair people off, speculate and gossip.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shippers

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to write this after being torn over whether to secretly ship Hotch/Rossi as well as Hotch/Prentiss. I also wanted to make my mother laugh as this whole concept fascinates her. None of this is intended as a diss on any other ship, I respect all shippers, am friends with a variety of them, and dabble in several pairings, het and slash, myself.

“There is a small contingent who thinks you and Rossi are good together.”

“What honey?” Emily poked her head out of the bathroom.

“There is talk about you and Rossi.”

“What kind of talk?”

“People think you look good together.”

“Who?”

“I don’t think naming names is important.”

“OK. So what does the nameless contingent say?”

“Don’t make fun of me.” Hotch grumbled.

“I am not making fun…I'm actually interested.”

“Well there is talk about how you two have paired up a lot lately and how you seem to make great partners. They say you are both Type A, flirty personalities who would find each other to be a challenge and would probably heat up the sheets.”

“I thought you hated office gossip.”

“I do.”

“What made you listen to that?” Emily asked.

“I don’t know really; I couldn’t walk away.”

“Then I am sure you’ve heard the ones about you and Rossi?”

“Excuse me?”

Emily came out of the bathroom. Hotch smiled when he saw her in a tank top and bikini briefs…it was definitely bedtime.

“You and Rossi, reigniting the flame from way back.” She said, sitting Indian style on the bed beside him and drinking her beer.

“Are you serious?”

“I am. Human beings are natural shippers.”

“What?”

“Shippers Hotch, we like to pair people off, speculate and gossip. Most of it is harmless and it makes the sometimes tedious hours go by a little faster. I can't tell you how many nights on the road we all stayed up late, laughing and drinking and gossiping. It’s better than some of the other things we could be thinking about or having nightmares about. The FBI can be like high school much of the time. High school had its really good times.”

“Rossi and I?”

“That’s one of the tamer ones I've heard.”

“What else have you heard?” Hotch asked.

“Are we going to gossip now?”

“I have to admit being intrigued.”

“Well that’s better than being jealous.” Emily replied.

“I was not jealous; am not jealous. Tell me more about shippers.”

“If some are to be believed, we’re all sleeping together and having a good time doing it. Garcia heard a rumor about JJ and I last month. And someone, lets call them a part of the nameless contingent, had me laughing over beer telling me all about Reid and Morgan. There are rampant rumors of Morgan and Garcia, Morgan and I, and for a very short period of time Jordan Todd and I were steaming up the sheets like you wouldn’t believe.”

“Seriously?”

“Mmm hmm. I have to admit, I didn’t hear the one about Rossi and I. How could I have missed that? Interesting.”

“What's so interesting about it?”

“Nothing.”

“No, no, something is interesting about it. Do you think…?”

“Don’t finish that sentence.” She pointed at him.

“I was only going to ask do you think you could be attracted to Rossi.”

“Speculatively? Sure.”

“Elaborate please.”

“He is intelligent, handsome, and confident. He is a good listener and fun to be around. I am sure he has his own chapter in the New Joy of Sex. Rossi is a wonderful guy and who knows, if we didn’t kill each other it might be a good thing for a good while. Not forever though…not that some people need forever.”

Hotch made a funny noise and folded his arms. Emily smiled.

“There is just one problem though.”

“What's that?” he asked.

“I am madly in love with someone else.”

“Who?”

“JJ, aren’t you listening?”

Hotch grinned, and his dimples shone through.

“Shippers, huh? What about us…are there any rumors about Hotch and Prentiss?”

“Plenty. Don’t you know you are the BAU’s little black dress? You look good with everyone. I could tell you some stories…”

“I think I've heard enough.”

“We've only put a small bite in it.”

“I shouldn’t have opened my fat mouth.”

“I like your fat mouth, Agent Hotchner.” Emily climbed into his lap.

Hotch smiled again, putting his arms around her and teasing her lips with his.

“We all work together, spend too much time together, and we are stunningly attractive people. It’s bound to happen.” Emily said.

“Rumors?”

“Mmm hmm. Like I said, it’s relatively harmless; most of it doesn’t even make it to your big old office. I think if no one is talking about you that’s when there is cause to worry. I don’t think you are ever in any danger of that.”

“I'm pretty popular with the shippers.” Hotch puffed out his chest some.

“You're beating them off with a stick, as a matter of fact.” Emily replied. “You and Reid; you two get more sex than coeds on spring break. A lot of the time it’s with each other.”

“I am really grateful for that big old office now. I can close my door and pretend to be oblivious to the fact that I am a manwhore.”

“You can run but you cannot hide, Hotch.” Emily laughed, kissing him. She ran her fingers through his hair. “Now do you still want to speculate some more or are you ready for the real thing?” she lifted his tee shirt over his head.

“I am always ready for the real thing, Agent Prentiss. I have no problem being your little black dress.”

***


End file.
